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Post by nadia i. ivanova on Aug 9, 2016 19:17:27 GMT
Nadia was never the type of girl who wanted more. She had always been happy with what she had, accepting what came to her and adjusting her lifestyle so that the people around her could remain happy. It was a peaceful existence, doing what others wanted most so they would remain happy, Rian Ryland in particular. They’d been together for six years now, but if you actually accumulated all of the time together, it would amount to maybe three. Their seventh year had been the most jam-packed, being that they were still in school and could virtually see one another whenever they pleased, but once graduation hit and Rian had gotten accepted into his training, she began to see less and less of him, and now she hardly saw him at all. But she dealt with it, like always, because that was what Nadia did. When he came home after weeks at a time, she’d smile, give him a kiss on the cheek and tell him how much she missed him. Now, there wouldn’t be much problem with that, not really. But Nadia had wanted to do things… big things! She wanted to train to become a Cursebreaker after graduation, and travel the world breaking into hidden vaults and pyramids and caverns. It sounded like quite the adventurous lifestyle, and it was exactly what she wanted. But after their summers abroad, hers and Rian’s, they’d decided upon getting a place together, and what with his training taking up so much of his time, Nadia had gotten a job at the one place that would hire her almost immediately, Madam Primipernelle’s Beautifying Potions. It was an okay job- Nadia wasn’t the type of person who really enjoyed customer service, but Madam Primpernelle’s decendant, or whomever owned the shop now, was good to her and paid her well. Nadia had even begun to train on how to make the potions herself, and saw plenty of nasty witches and wizards stopping in to rid themselves of that nasty wart on their nose. But point being, she had gotten the job so that the two of them would have a place to live. If she travelled all the time, and he did his training, they would have been rendered homeless, and that just wouldn’t do. They had promised that it wouldn’t be that long. That Nadia would be able to do her training once Rian’s had concluded, but one training led to another and another and then to South Africa and so on. Nadia was five years at Madam Primpernelle’s, and instead of bringing up that maybe Cursebreaking wasn’t for her anymore, that she wanted more out of her life, she bit her cheek and said that she was fine, and that she was happy. It was good to see him. She wished she could see more of him. To which of course, he’d respond with “I know! But…” and come up with some very long-winded reason as to why he was leaving again and why he’d been gone so long the last time. It was tiresome, and Nadia didn’t want to spend another anniversary with just Ghost, who was starting to look her age. Twelve, she was. Nadia hoped she’d last another eight, because she was starting to live a very lonely existence. The brunette pulled her hair back into a ponytail and heaved a heavy sigh, setting the table for dinner, even though she wasn’t even sure if Rian would be home that night. She always did… and when he didn’t show up, she just put the dishes back into the cabinet and went on with her life, Ghost curling up on the pillow next to her head, where Rian’s usually rested. Ghost only did that when he wasn’t there, but Nadia was sure that the small cat was going to start believing that that was his bed. She set the table, putting wine glasses at the edge of the plate and laying silverware in their respective spots. The food, which she always made in a bigger pan than necessary, was set near her spot, because the way the minute hand was ticking across the clock, she was sure that she would be eating alone tonight. But still, she waited. She pulled out her chair and sat down, pouring herself some wine, before standing up again, pushing the chair to the table. Ghost watched her with curious eyes, tipping his head to the side as she moved from one end of the table to the other, downing one glass of wine after another. This wasn’t a way to live, she was sure of it, but it was what she’d grown accustomed to, always waiting, always cleaning up after him, always… it was like she didn’t even exist anymore. The brunette bit down on her bottom lip, running her hand over her ponytail and pulling out the chair the second time, finding a seat and dishing herself out some food. No sense in waiting for something that wasn’t going to come. Tagged; rian r. ryland
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Post by rian r. ryland on Aug 10, 2016 7:34:43 GMT
non exspectare huius There were things that people didn’t tell you about getting older. They didn’t tell you that you had to really take extra good care of your toenails or that really you couldn’t just do whatever you wanted because you were an adult and they didn’t tell you that things just wouldn’t be easy. Sure some people made it look effortless and acted as if it wasn’t a struggle at all but Rian Ryland had been finding since graduation that it was anything but that. Life just seemed to be one challenge after another. There was no coasting or easing in to things or even moving at your own pace. Things just happened and the most you could hope to do about it was to hang on tight and pray that everything worked out for the best because otherwise how could you make it through with a smile on your face.
Work was work and it was not something that he had particularly excelled at in school and here and now it was becoming all the harder. Not that it wasn’t a blast. Rian loved what he was doing even if it didn’t particularly pay well, money wasn’t everything after all. It was time consuming though and he was spending much less time with Nova and…he missed her. He missed her deeply and truly but sometimes the jungle called and he was there for days and weeks and…well not months. Rian was getting ahead of himself. He still did that sometimes. He had slowed but still his mind made attempts to leap head first.
That was what had got him in the current predicament. He had heard the whisper of something being in a deep dark corner of the jungle and he had leapt to take on the challenge. Leapt and sprinted out into the jungle losing track of time once more. He had been there a while or so he assumed. At this point time most certainly was a construct for him. It didn’t seem real because sure the sun set and it rose in the morning but it all just seemed kind of the same. Seemed like nothing had changed and no days had really passed. There were so many neat and exciting things here in the jungle that Rian found it hard to resist any and all urges. The truth was that he was doing what he loved and it excited him.
The truth was that he was being a horrible boyfriend. He had done it again and the realization had only set in on him once he had begun to head back to the research center. It was why his steady walk up the hill had turned into a mad dash and Rian was doing yet again what some would have hoped he would have grown out of by now. He was diving head first into a situation without thinking of where it may go or what might be going on. He just knew that the sun was setting again now and that he need to get home, to Nova.
Apparating should have meant he would have been home every night but spending time in the jungle meant that it was very easy to lose track of just where he was. While some would have jested that all trees looked the same Rian knew that wasn’t the case and instead was just kind of abysmal with a map and coordinates. So that normally meant a hammock and a night alone and no Nova. That really just was not acceptable. That was probably why when he arrived on their doorstep that he flung the door open and didn’t hesitate to hurry inside. Didn’t hesitate to slam it shut and hurry to the kitchen and ignore the food and ignore everything else and focus on her in all her gloriousness. To kiss her slowly and quickly and then bury his head in her shoulder as he hugged her and whispered in her ear, “I’m sorry I’m an idiot and did it again. I’m just the worst I know and I’m sorry and I’ve missed you.” It wasn’t enough to make up for everything, that much he knew, but it was a start he supposed.
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Post by nadia i. ivanova on Aug 11, 2016 4:12:07 GMT
| T he sound at the door didn’t startle her. It was probably just another stray cat, she thought. For some reason Ghost seemed to have an animal magnetism and attracted all the strays in Diagon Alley. For a while, and sometimes when she was lonely, Nadia would feed them, but the more she fed them the more often they would come and then they wouldn’t leave her alone. She thought she’d put up a decent animal repellent on the outside door, but perhaps it had been time for a re-application.
So Nadia had twisted her fork. She wasn’t even that hungry, not really. She hadn’t been eating as well as she could have been, and she wasn’t sure if that was from loneliness or sadness, but she wasn’t about to dwell on the details, either. It smelled good, and cooking gave her something to do when she wasn’t at work, where she spent most of her free time, but when it came down to it she just didn’t want anything to do with the food once it was done. Sometimes, maybe. But not tonight. Her stomach didn’t even growl at the fact that nothing was getting put into it- probably because she’d gone so long with eating so little that her stomach was starting to shrink.
But oddly enough, it hadn’t been a stray scratching at the door. Ghost probably would have made her way over there, cocking her head to the side as she waited for Nadia to open the door, but she hadn’t moved. She still lay curled up in her cat bed that Nadia had placed in the dining room, the light thrumming of her purr becoming a comforting sound. It was that, though, that had caused Nadia to set down her fork and look up, the light ache in her head heavier now that she was accepting the light.
Footsteps padded down the hallway. Nadia looked, catching the glimpse of a shadow, but she thought that perhaps it was just her mind playing tricks on her again. That Rian wasn’t there, that she just wanted him to be there so badly that she was creating a re-enactment of him coming home, and that she should just put her head back down and focus on her meal again. But, as if it weren’t obvious from before, she just wasn’t hungry. Her fork lay untouched now on her plate, stuck deep into the noodles.
It was the touch maybe that scared her the most. Probably because she hadn’t been expecting it, probably because she was hoping so badly that it was real, and not her imagination. The bell on Ghost’s collar tinkled as Nadia clamped her eyes shut, feeling the feline’s fur against her ankles and the rush of cool air as she jumped up onto the table, and then more when someone had basically gotten into her lap. But she didn’t want to open her eyes- not yet. Opening her eyes meant that she had been imagining things and that she was probably losing her mind…
Well, she probably was losing her mind. It was hard to love someone who was never around.
The kiss had been slow at first, the deep kind that welled passion in the pit of your stomach. Heat rose from her belly up to her cheeks and she found herself putting her hands against the sides of imaginary Rian’s face, begging him to continue. But after a quick peck he buried himself in her shoulder, and she instinctively wrapped him in a hug. His voice was muffled but honestly Nadia didn’t care what he was saying, because she wasn’t crazy, he was home, and he was hers. All of the thoughts that she had thought moments ago washed away… the thoughts of telling him how much she wasn’t sure she could continue on like this, how much she wished he would just stay home, or how unhappy she was with just… everything. She couldn’t now- saying anything that might upset him was the last thing on her mind. Right now she just wanted to curl up in his arms and fall asleep next to him… loneliness was the most tiring thing.
But Nadia didn’t express any of this to him. She didn’t express much of anything lately- everything was about making Rian happy… and in turn, she just… wasn’t happy. ”But it’s your work, and it’s important,” was what she said, swallowing the small lump that had formed in her throat. She wasn’t sure if it was from all of the things she wanted to say being bundled up and lodging themselves in the back of her throat or because she was just really that happy to see him. ”I’m doing fine here,” she ran her fingers through his hair, wondering for a moment if it had gotten longer since she had last seen him. ”But I’ve missed you too.”
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Post by rian r. ryland on Aug 15, 2016 3:39:23 GMT
non exspectare huius Rian had always been careless. It was just in his nature. It wasn’t like he wanted to be it was just so easy to get sidetracked by things. At Hogwarts it had been different at least. Nova was always right there though. She was always just a moment away and even if they hadn’t intended to do anything together there was always a possibility that they could bump into each other in the hallways due to classes, which had been great. Real life wasn’t like that though. Real life wasn’t like school and he had never been great at paying attention to the time and as he got older it just seemed to be slipping away more and more. Time wasn’t real but it got him trouble all the time, every time really.
Now it was worse though and he felt bad but feeling bad didn’t really do a lot for anyone. Sure it sounded good to say things like ‘I’m sorry,’ when you felt like this but it didn’t do anything and any act he could put on seemed like some kind of overwrought grand gesture. There was no perfect answer to something like this. You just had to try and hope for the best and pray that when whoever you had hurt said things like it’s fine or it’ll be okay that they really meant it. That it wasn’t just a throwaway line to avoid an awkward confrontation because for some reason people preferred to just not have an honest talk about things, mostly out of fear it would go badly. Rian never held such a fear, especially when it came to Nova.
He wasn’t sure what brought such certainty because the truth was that nothing in life was certain. Nothing could truly determine how things would turn out except them and they were people, which meant they were more than capable of making a jumbled heaping mess out of things. That was the true capability of people although Rian preferred to ignore it in most cases. He was still the consummate optimist he had been in school. Still overly hopeful that things would just all work out for the best. The only thing that was truly different now was that he knew that sometime it took a little nudging to get things to where they needed to be. You couldn’t just hope without action; hope didn’t get the job done on its own.
So Rian put his stronger emotions in check in that moment. The one’s that wanted him to just lift Nova up and carry her to the bedroom where the giggled and writhed and did the things they had done for years. That was how people got distracted he supposed. Got distracted from the issues that really mattered and needed to be talked about. It wasn’t ideal of course but it was what happened to people sometime, whether they liked it or not.
“And you’re important too! More so if I’m being honest!” Rian was being honest it was just he was not the best at things. He was inadequate when it came to most things that weren’t plants and it seemed like relationships in general was probably one of those things. The fact that this was a romantic one just made it far worse, at least that was probably the case. “I’m just not great at this. I know that isn’t all lovely and stuff but I lost track of time for days and like who does that and you were all here alone and you’re amazing and shouldn’t be alone! Someone as wonderful as you should never be alone Nova.”
Some may have thought that Rian was laying it on a bit thick but it was just the way he talked and thought that made him say these things. It was who he was. Who he had been forever. No matter who probably thought he should grow up a bit Rian still talked this way. Part of him probably should have changed but no matter how hard he tried this just was the way that he was, thank goodness Nova liked him despite of that regardless. “I mean I’m sad that you had to miss me as always but I’m happy that I wasn’t the only one missing the other. I miss you desperately every time I leave Nova. I wish I could take you with me.” That was the truth, living in South Africa would have been easier but probably not much fun for her either though. It was in the middle of the jungle and with no one else there but him what kind of fun could that have been? “Tell me how you’ve been though, tell me what I’ve missed?”
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