Post by rolo l. grant on Aug 20, 2016 7:12:32 GMT
WORDS: 958 | TAGS: OPEN! |
Rolo wasn't positive on just how to stand. He had been struggling with that for the past two minutes. Well two minutes and thirty-four seconds to be exact. Thirty-five now. That wasn't the point. The point was that he felt trapped and awkard in that moment. It wasn't anything that anyone was doing. It wasn't anything anyone was saying or looking at or a situation that was occurring next to him, no it was just him feeling this way for no real reason. Maybe because he didn't have a real reason to be there anymore. Maybe because he should have just left the entrance to Diagon Alley three minutes and twenty-two seconds ago. That was how far past the arranged meeting had been. When the seller had supposed to have shown up, not that Rolo had intended to buy anything particularly important or of consequence.
Some would argue that it was of course of consequence to him but what he was inferring that it wasn’t of consequence to the world at large. He wasn’t doing anything dubious or that could get him arrested. No this was an innocent transaction and the whole reason that Rolo was so uncomfortable in that moment was because that was just who he was. Awkward, uncomfortable, and overall a bit paranoid was who he was at his core. That wasn’t exactly something he was proud of, he was proud of the small positives about himself too of course but at the moment they weren’t making him fidgety all while making note that the person was four minutes and forty-four second late now. No that was the not so great parts.
Those were the parts that at that moment moved him forward. While it may have just been human error on the seller’s part they were now five minutes and sixteen seconds late and he could stand there no longer. So Rolo turned and exited Diagon Alley. Some may have thought it more reasonable for him to turn instead inward and head back to his apartment or even to his workplace to check in on things or just took in the Alley for old times’ sake but the truth was that Rolo didn’t really want to do that at the moment. He didn’t want to risk bumping into the seller or someone who might know him or something of that sort. It wasn’t something he really fancied at the moment, he needed to wind down.
Winding down wasn’t something you did while running into casual acquaintances though, it was something you either did with yourself or one or two select people. Those people were not here and even then Gabrielle had only had to deal with him like this once and he didn’t intend to inflict it on her once again. That probably wasn’t how relationships worked but given that this was Rolo’s first one he wasn’t really someone who could tell you such a thing one way or another.
As he stared at the ground and made his way down the street he couldn’t help but laser focus on the ground. Focus on the point in front of him and try not to focus on the fact that he was inadequate in an area and he could do nothing about it. Rolo had struggled his whole life with such things. He had forever had a distain for things he could not master if he sat down with a book and had a little bit of natural talent to go with it. It was why flying and Quidditch had been such issues for him. It was why he had never really flourished socially and any feigned adequacy in the area had been done with the help of a crutch like Lee and…maybe now Gabrielle. He was awful at this and there was nothing he could do about it except try and try and accept that he would be faced with failure at some point because of it. It was not ideal.
Rolo stopped focusing on the ground as he stopped moving altogether. It had been seventeen minutes and fifty-four seconds since the meeting was supposed to happen. He wondered if they had arrived and the person was standing there now. Looking about confused as if he hadn’t been late and Rolo had been unreasonable. There would be other things…other contingencies that he could pick up for possible future events that may or may not happen but if they did they were things that needed to be planned for. Things that needed to be mapped out and planned and put together so that everything fit just right and he could sleep at night knowing that he would at one point not have to worry about what the next logical step was in anything. He wasn’t good at this.
Looking up at the hospital’s face he wondered if this would have been a better career path. Wondered if things would have worked out better for him, socially at least, if he had chosen a career where he would be forced into human interaction day in and day out. Would things get better or would they just get worse for him in such a situation? Rolo didn’t know and even if he really truly wanted to know there was no way he could go back in time and shuffle it all about. Besides would he know Gabrielle then if he did? Rolo didn’t know if the answer of that question was yes and if he was being honest, he didn’t want to find out. Biting his fingernail Rolo turned his attention back to the ground and wondered just where in the world he was going to go now, he hated when he didn’t plan things out properly.
Some would argue that it was of course of consequence to him but what he was inferring that it wasn’t of consequence to the world at large. He wasn’t doing anything dubious or that could get him arrested. No this was an innocent transaction and the whole reason that Rolo was so uncomfortable in that moment was because that was just who he was. Awkward, uncomfortable, and overall a bit paranoid was who he was at his core. That wasn’t exactly something he was proud of, he was proud of the small positives about himself too of course but at the moment they weren’t making him fidgety all while making note that the person was four minutes and forty-four second late now. No that was the not so great parts.
Those were the parts that at that moment moved him forward. While it may have just been human error on the seller’s part they were now five minutes and sixteen seconds late and he could stand there no longer. So Rolo turned and exited Diagon Alley. Some may have thought it more reasonable for him to turn instead inward and head back to his apartment or even to his workplace to check in on things or just took in the Alley for old times’ sake but the truth was that Rolo didn’t really want to do that at the moment. He didn’t want to risk bumping into the seller or someone who might know him or something of that sort. It wasn’t something he really fancied at the moment, he needed to wind down.
Winding down wasn’t something you did while running into casual acquaintances though, it was something you either did with yourself or one or two select people. Those people were not here and even then Gabrielle had only had to deal with him like this once and he didn’t intend to inflict it on her once again. That probably wasn’t how relationships worked but given that this was Rolo’s first one he wasn’t really someone who could tell you such a thing one way or another.
As he stared at the ground and made his way down the street he couldn’t help but laser focus on the ground. Focus on the point in front of him and try not to focus on the fact that he was inadequate in an area and he could do nothing about it. Rolo had struggled his whole life with such things. He had forever had a distain for things he could not master if he sat down with a book and had a little bit of natural talent to go with it. It was why flying and Quidditch had been such issues for him. It was why he had never really flourished socially and any feigned adequacy in the area had been done with the help of a crutch like Lee and…maybe now Gabrielle. He was awful at this and there was nothing he could do about it except try and try and accept that he would be faced with failure at some point because of it. It was not ideal.
Rolo stopped focusing on the ground as he stopped moving altogether. It had been seventeen minutes and fifty-four seconds since the meeting was supposed to happen. He wondered if they had arrived and the person was standing there now. Looking about confused as if he hadn’t been late and Rolo had been unreasonable. There would be other things…other contingencies that he could pick up for possible future events that may or may not happen but if they did they were things that needed to be planned for. Things that needed to be mapped out and planned and put together so that everything fit just right and he could sleep at night knowing that he would at one point not have to worry about what the next logical step was in anything. He wasn’t good at this.
Looking up at the hospital’s face he wondered if this would have been a better career path. Wondered if things would have worked out better for him, socially at least, if he had chosen a career where he would be forced into human interaction day in and day out. Would things get better or would they just get worse for him in such a situation? Rolo didn’t know and even if he really truly wanted to know there was no way he could go back in time and shuffle it all about. Besides would he know Gabrielle then if he did? Rolo didn’t know if the answer of that question was yes and if he was being honest, he didn’t want to find out. Biting his fingernail Rolo turned his attention back to the ground and wondered just where in the world he was going to go now, he hated when he didn’t plan things out properly.
NOTES ;NONE!
＃ENY ADOXOGRAPHY
